Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Replacing Cuddles with John's Phone

I love my iPhone, I named her Cuddles. I sleep with her under my pillow every night, I'm sure that's bad for you but hey. I once attempted to knit a sweater for her, aka a phone sock, but my ADD kicked in and I ended up organising all my coins at the bottom of my hand bag by the year they were created. I have to admit though, I have a little crush on a little (or big in this case) phone, not the crackBlackberry. I am in love with the simplest phone since the first cellphone was invented or created. I'm in love with John's phone.



The creators, known as John Doe Amsterdam, described it as "the birth of the no nonsense phone." I just think it's so simple its genius. There's no camera, no bluetooth and gasp fall down the stairs and brake a nail, no sms, but I'm not worried because the keypad locks. When I saw it I couldn't help but think of all the cellphone adverts. Everything is about, connecting, global this, social networks that, connecting connecting connection. The only connection I'd have with this, is via the modest phone call. The only thing global about it, is that any sim card can work in it. The best thing, I swear, is it works on a single charge every three weeks, and it has a little note pad for your numbers, which means no digital phonebook. Takes me back to days when numbers had to be scribbled on serviettes with lipstick when a pen and paper was no where to be found.

This phone belongs in a novelty shop, I have a feeling that if a thirteen year old saw it, they would hyperventilate, pass out, wake up in the hospital screaming for Mxit. When I described it to a certain someone last night, he stopped speaking to me and  and dramatically said his good nights, all because I said the phone had no features. To be honest I'm secretly yearning for it. It comes in Pink and there's a limited edition gold version what more can I ask for. The keys are so huge I have a feeling my cat who ran away could use it. It's like that incredibly hot but very dense guy I had a crush on in high school, I knew it would be so frustrating, and borderline excruciating, but I just had to have him. I find it stunning, it's like a chunky iPhone, its cheeky, it's giving the middle finger to technology. I need one, I have to have one. I guess if my phone ever "got lost" I will be visiting  John's phone store and in the time it takes to ship a phone from Amsterdam I will have a fun new phone.




I love you Cuddlles, I love you Cuddles, I love you Cuddles!!

Pics: John's Phone

Monday, 30 May 2011

Snow White and me...

In my mind; I wake up in the morning, open my window and birds come flying in. These birds fly in and pick out what I'm going to wear, while chirping a happy tune. Butterflies flutter in, they whisper inspirational and general good things in my ear so I always have a happy thoughts in the morning. Talking mice from out of no where magically poof in front of me and ask me what I will have for breakfast. I always have cloud flavoured muffins, they taste like marshmallows and laughter. I worry about nothing because the magical cleaning elves make my bed and sprinkle dust that smell like spring on the finished product. Before I go out fairies come in and sprinkle me with fairy dust for luck and fairy mist so I smell like rainbows.

In reality I might be a little insane, but that's OK I watched Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and learned that all the good people are a little insane. I think I'm a fairy princess, actually I have a tattoo of a fairy for that very reason. Whenever I'm sad I ask myself what would  Snow White do, then I find myself humming a tune, sometimes I accidentally sing out loud (but that's only on days when I forget where I am.) The thing  is I don't see the world through rose coloured glasses, I was just born with a vivid imagination, I really did play with Barney the dinosaur sensation.

I've been told on many occasions that I'm strange, my answer has always been "so what." So what if I'm strange. Yes, OK, all these things are only real in a Walt Disney Production. All these things are a five year old's magic dream, sure, that's not reality. I love reality and the smell of freshly laid tar. Reality is, we all have our happy place, clearly mine is a Walt Disney Fairy tale with a splash of the Brothers Grimm. Everyone has their quirks, I'm not afraid of mine. I realise that I create a killer fairy tale in my mind every time I wake up....

...Maybe I should be a writer.